It sounds like something from News of the Weird or Snopes.com, but an adviser to President Obama says they’ve discussed shooting pollution particles into the atmosphere to offset global warming – which supposedly is fostered by ... pollution particles in the atmosphere.
Frankly, this sounds like an idea out of a Michael Crichton novel like “Jurassic Park,” where the scientists know just enough to be really, really dangerous. But let’s assume they have thought of everything.
We are apparently talking two different kinds of particles, as near as I can determine, though the article didn’t specify what would be “good” pollution particles. And to be effective they’d have to be injected higher up than say the Eisenhower Pass.
News like this is sure to make the folks at CARB choke with apoplexy, but I think it’s a terrific opportunity for the trucking industry to address several pressing issues.
First, we tell CARB and EPA we are not going to limit our emissions anymore (everyone sing, to the tune of “Ain’t Gonna Study War No More” ... “ain’t gonna limit smoke no more, ain’t gonna limit smoke no more ...”). It has now become our patriotic duty – nay, our obligation to humanity and the Earth – to smoke ’em if we got ’em.
Next, we get the tallest stacks we can find and still miss overpasses. I figure every inch toward heaven will help our emissions get up high and start fighting solar rays.
Alternatively, instead of retro-fitting old engines, we could park them and run the engines to fill up weather balloons. As the hot gas finishes inflating each balloon, a gizmo would seal it and release it from the stack.
At the appropriate altitude, another gizmo would release the gas. A built-in-GPS would help us track and retrieve the balloons for reuse. The balloons could carry advertising to cover the cost of diesel and recovery. No charge to taxpayers!
And to take care of another trucking problem, a similar approach could be used to capture emissions from idling trucks. We could call that fleet something like, oh, the Idle Air Force.